Mrs Wong... Me?

It's been more than 1 month since our wedding... but everything from the day still seems pretty clear in my head now... and my heart still feels warm and fuzzy... effects from a happy wedding? See I knew all the effort and $ would pay off... hahaha... ;)

To me, the wedding was perfect... all I ever wanted... a simple and elegant dress, pretty and happy bridesmaids, nice hand bouquet, dreamy-looking pre-wed photos, good hair day, charming reception, super smiley parents and brother, spontaneous groomsmen, my dashing groom... and being serenaded to... was definitely the perfect icing to the cake... I really felt like the happiest girl in the world...

As the saying goes... the wedding is only the beginning of it all... Well, this is definitely a wonderful start!

So, how has married life been treating me? Hmm... so far so good... guess we are still in the honeymoon stage... heh... hope it stays this way... =)

Sure you know me?

Still on the book that I'm still reading...

The writer has decided to come clean before her wedding as she thinks that it's only fair for her fiance to know her darkest secrets/ habits... so the copycat in me is inspired to do the same thing... heh... so here it is... painstakingly compiled...

In general,

- I dislike crowded and noisy places... I feel nervous when there are alot of people piling/ squeezing against me...

- Can't stand sloppy, lazy and untidy people/things...

- Loves to daydream/ think... sometimes excessively...

- Likes to watch alot of tv on holidays...

- Listens to music while doing work...

- Needs to go to nice places/ cafes/ restaurants/ shops to feel inspired...

- Though not artistically/ musically trained, anything of such nature never fails to fascinate me... thus the desire to catch performances/ concerts/ musicals... or visit galleries...

- I'm not tech-savvy...

- I think housework is like admin work... it value-adds and is totally necessary... doesn't require much brain power... just very labourious and mundane... and can be outsourced...

- Jogging clears my mind... and I like to do it in the morning...

- I used to like driving... cause I thought it felt liberating... but after a few near-death experiences... I think I'm better off being a passenger...

- I enjoy wining and dining experiences... not so much for the food... but more for the ambience and dreaminess that I get out of it...

- I'm a sucker for flowers and appreciate little gestures/ surprises... especially from an overseas trip... They are never too much...

- Requires a high level of affection... and am inclined to think that life would just be perfect if I get that one more hug and one more kiss...

- When I'm sulking in the car... my anger dissipates almost immediately when you hold my hand and smile to me...

- I don't like to eat in hawker centres... because it feels chaotic... I don't mind taking away the food from there and eat at home...

- I really don't like to eat pork... Yes I already know I won't die eating it...

- I'm irritated by sudden changes in plans.

- I feel alot of love and warmth at home... and I hope it will be the same in our own home...

- Something very important to note: I have far more enthusiasm in life than I have actual energy. In my excitement, I routinely take on more than I can physically or emotionally handle, which causes me to break down in quite predictable displays of dramatic exhaustion, whereby I feel alone and helpless... I usually feel much better if I see you/ get a phone call from you... even though I don't communicate the issue to you.

- Loves to travel... for leisure... Traveling alone for work is really not that fun... quite stifling sometimes...

- I'm generally supportive of your plans... just wished that they were put across as questions rather than as statements...

- Absolutely loves being "baby"...

Hmm... I think there are more... but can't think now... to be continued another time! ;p

The whole package

Came across this while reading some book...

The writer wrote... "Loving someone is akin to an experienced jewelry trader buying a combi pack of gems.."

So what is a "combi pack"? It is a package with a mix of gems... some good... some outstanding... and always mixed with some crappy stones... traders are supposed to bid for them... and the price is always overestimated because people tend to focus on the perfect stones... If you are lucky, you may find some precious diamonds or aquamarines... if not, there are always some pretty turquoise as consolation... but the real catch is... what do you do with the other stones? Alot of jewelry traders are full of grouses for these combi packs because they are always temporarily blinded by the sparkly gems, pay an exorbitant price... but only manage to sell a few of these and soon, they get stucked with a truckload of worthless stones... with no capacity to buy new gems unless they manage to sell more of it away...

However, from experience, they will realize that the trick is to ignore the perfect gems... don't even look at them because they are blinding... instead, focus on the bad stones... Scrutinize them for a long while... and if you decide you can work something out of them... for example, sell them to some artist to decorate some photo frames... then get the pack by all means...

It's the same with relationships... People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other's personalities. Who wouldn't? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that's not the clever trick. The really smart thing to do is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you view these flaws as strengths? Can you look at your partner's faults honestly and say, "I can work around that. I can make something out of that"? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to be pretty and sparkly, but it's the crap underneath that can ruin the relationship...

In essence, it's a whole package... don't expect to enjoy the goods without accepting the bads... remember... no one is perfect in the world... and there are no free lunches... be prepared to view your partner's flaws as a plus... and that may require lots of work sometimes! But it will pay off ultimately... as there is absolute satisfaction from a loving and fully functional relationship... Definitely worth it! ;)

Do you like this bedroom?

I'm liking the neutral tones of this bedroom... Soothing and cosy...

What do you think? ;)

Why do we hurt our closest?

You had a bad day... reach home... mum ask something... you snap at her... go to room... slam the door... immediately feel bad... =(

Does this sound familiar? Yes? I admit I'm totally guilty of that... and always try to reflect on my own actions... I tell myself not to do it not to do it... umpteen times... but this thought only fits in my head when I'm feeling rational...

But when I'm feeling irrational... hmm... :s

Why is this happening? Why do we do such things to our loved ones? Because we take their love for granted and assume that no matter what nonsense we do to them, they will not forsake us? But it's not very fair to them... what have they done to deserve such treatment? Maybe there is some other solution for this?

Perhaps... in such events... I should try to count to ten... and not snap... communicate the issue why I'm feeling irritated/ frustrated? Maybe sharing could be a better outlet that snapping?

Imperfectionist

Mistakes and flaws are part and parcel of everyone's lives... No one/ nothing is perfect in this world?

What happens when too many mistakes are made? A disaster?

How does a mistake occur? Misjudgement? Miscalculation? Can't be bothered to think? Or simply not intelligent enough? No.. there could be countless reasons/ excuses... it could be external factors... the weather? the traffic?

What actions to take? To salvage, to mull over it or accept it, acknowledge and move on?

I know I'm sounding illogical here... just trying to convince myself that imperfections are perfectly normal and that we should learn to accept it... not be too critical... not be too hard on myself/ anyone...

Problem is... I try to fix it... spending days and nights... thinking of a solution... sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't... sometimes I even try to fix other people's mistakes... when it's not solved, I get frustrated for wasting time on it...

Really need to learn how to be an imperfectionist... less things to think about...

Cool Indie band

I'm home... =)

Am back from a trip to Bangkok... It was a relaxing trip... with lots of shopping, numerous foot massages and a perfect manicure and pedicure... feeling refreshed...

Had dinner with my parents and my mum asked me how was my trip... I told her it was ok... just like usual... she was quiet for awhile... then she said... next time don't go for so long...

I was surprised... surely 5 days wasn't that long... I thought... But before I said anything... my dad said... ya lor... you go for 5 days, we can't sleep for 4 nights leh... to hear this from dad... is kind of weird... cause my dad is a man of few words... he rarely verbalize his emotions... so it got me thinking... what has changed from my previous trips? Me gone for a longer period? Bangkok more dangerous? My parents are more expressive in showing their love now? Or perhaps... I won't be staying with them soon and they want to spend as much time as possible with me? Hmm... nvm... anyhow... it feels heart-warming to be missed... =)

It will stop raining?

Nope, not referring to the weather...

Mum being away... not helping...
Drowning in work... very helpful...

Driving to town during weekends... not helping...
Retail therapy in town... very helpful...

All my girlfriends... definitely helpful...

I'm usually good at forgetting petty squabbles...
But somehow... some words just keep replaying in my head...

How should I describe it? Not angry, not upset, not pissed... hurt? maybe...

Maybe shaken? I know it may not seem a big deal to some... but to me... being on different pages is fatal...

Just move on? Easier said than done... really...

Perhaps a time-out is good...

Another pretty gown...

Pretty Bridal Heels?

Insomnia #2

Here I am... sitting in front of the computer screen once again at 330am in the morning...

A case of drug misuse? I suspect...

3 hours ago... I was feeling feverish... went to the kitchen looking for remedy... I found panadol cold relief, and next to it were mum's bottles of vitamin b and c... I must be lacking those ya? I thought... and so I popped 2 of everything with a glass of water and went to bed...

And this is what happens after mixing all the pills? Hmm... I guess I learnt it the hard way... :S

Or maybe there are too many things on my mind? I have noticed a pattern... whenever I have too much to think=overheating of brain=fever... does this happen to everyone too?

My dream gown...

Feeling dreamy...

DeCluttered...

This weekend, I spent the whole time tidying my room... clearing out my wardrobe and shoe rack... throwing out the old magazines from my book shelves... the amount of clothes, bags and shoes I have... let's just say it's obscene... even after filling up 5 full big bags... my wardrobe still seems like it's bursting... looks like I really need a walk-in wardrobe soon! ;p

Besides spring cleaning, I also had some time to clear some pending issues related to work, wedding and home... really feel much better after working through all these... I have a better idea of what I really want and need now... and having a clear picture in my head is a breath of fresh air...

Flowers adding a nice touch...

Focus?

Recently, I find my mind very confused... like losing my footing... I think it's because there's too much going on every single day... Spectra in the morning, shops and website administration after that... all to be completed in a rush... The activities are too diverse!

Maybe... sometimes... multi-tasking doesn't work? Focus is the key... Do one thing at a time and you will definitely be able to solve something ya?

Ok I think that should be it! One thing at a time... :)

Feels like school again...

For a long while, I haven't been to social gatherings... I like my privacy and I pretty much don't like people I'm not so close to knowing too much things about me... mostly I only share when I'm with my close friends... quiet in big groups...

It was never my thing... though I had my fair share of these social events in schools... what goes on in all these outings? Well, the usual gossips of who's who in school, who bought what and went where for vacation... Your dress is nice, where did you get it from? How did you do for the exams... blah blah... and people like to go on and on about their seemingly achievements... I could never understand the point of all these comparisons... Do these people really care about you or they are just trying to prove something? Are they people with self-esteem problem and they need to show something to make themselves feel better?

Recently, due to the festive periods and the introduction to some new social circles, I was exposed to all these gatherings again... they really reminded me of school... just that now the topics are on jobs, careers, house and marriage... but the scenarios are all the same... competitive people trying to show off their achievements eagerly... hoping to get all the nods of approval from peers and envious stares? Trying to dig out dirt from friends, who's getting rich and successful, who's down and out... it's like a circus... Sometimes, I really find it quite entertaining to watch... like a comedy... yup, I prefer to be a by-stander... because I can't stand all these drama... Why can't people just be self-assured and mind their own business? Or spend their time and brain cells doing something more useful.. hmm probably they really have nothing better to do...

Well, I guess the song "High school never ends" is true... haha...

The wedding colours...

Finally decided on the colours... Classy black and white with a dash of chirpy yellow...

Pretty Flower bouquets?

Pretty gowns?

It's 2011 already?

Time is flying by way too quickly...

Unknowingly, it has been 1 week into 2011... but I still feel bogged down by all the troubles from Dec 2010... feeling rather disillusioned... like there is no closure for 2010... like nothing was settled or concluded... and I'm not sure what I have accomplished for the year...

Of course, 2011 is an exciting year for me and I'm definitely looking forward to all that's coming along... I just hope that everything will straighten itself out and turn out well in the end... I know I need to think simply sometimes... things doesn't have to be so complicated...

Perfectionist?

I don't think I'm one but I just like/ hope to do things the best they can be...

Something I can be proud of... as I derive much satisfaction from a job well done... like adrenaline rush to an athlete...

I figured... since you are already spending time doing it, may as well do it well... why do a shoddy job or produce something mediocre? Isn't it a waste of time and effort? And you will never realize what your full potential is... you will just be any other nobody on the street... by saying this, I'm not implying that I'm somebody now... but at least I think I have no regrets and no "what-ifs"...

If you have done your best and still failed? Well well... then I guess... learn from all the mistakes and try to make the best out of them? ;p

All-rounder?

Sometimes I just wish I could do everything on my own... No one seems to be able to do things according to how I want it to be... And when they can't achieve what you want, they accuse you of being a perfectionist... Frustrating!

I wish I could be the photographer who can take fabulous pictures and edit them to exactly the colour, contrast, brightness and size I need...

I wish I could be the programmer who could ensure everything on the website works and all the boxes and lines fits into every version of computers and internet platform...

I wish all my staff thinks like me...

I wish and I could only wish...