The whole package

Came across this while reading some book...

The writer wrote... "Loving someone is akin to an experienced jewelry trader buying a combi pack of gems.."

So what is a "combi pack"? It is a package with a mix of gems... some good... some outstanding... and always mixed with some crappy stones... traders are supposed to bid for them... and the price is always overestimated because people tend to focus on the perfect stones... If you are lucky, you may find some precious diamonds or aquamarines... if not, there are always some pretty turquoise as consolation... but the real catch is... what do you do with the other stones? Alot of jewelry traders are full of grouses for these combi packs because they are always temporarily blinded by the sparkly gems, pay an exorbitant price... but only manage to sell a few of these and soon, they get stucked with a truckload of worthless stones... with no capacity to buy new gems unless they manage to sell more of it away...

However, from experience, they will realize that the trick is to ignore the perfect gems... don't even look at them because they are blinding... instead, focus on the bad stones... Scrutinize them for a long while... and if you decide you can work something out of them... for example, sell them to some artist to decorate some photo frames... then get the pack by all means...

It's the same with relationships... People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other's personalities. Who wouldn't? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that's not the clever trick. The really smart thing to do is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you view these flaws as strengths? Can you look at your partner's faults honestly and say, "I can work around that. I can make something out of that"? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to be pretty and sparkly, but it's the crap underneath that can ruin the relationship...

In essence, it's a whole package... don't expect to enjoy the goods without accepting the bads... remember... no one is perfect in the world... and there are no free lunches... be prepared to view your partner's flaws as a plus... and that may require lots of work sometimes! But it will pay off ultimately... as there is absolute satisfaction from a loving and fully functional relationship... Definitely worth it! ;)

Do you like this bedroom?

I'm liking the neutral tones of this bedroom... Soothing and cosy...

What do you think? ;)

Why do we hurt our closest?

You had a bad day... reach home... mum ask something... you snap at her... go to room... slam the door... immediately feel bad... =(

Does this sound familiar? Yes? I admit I'm totally guilty of that... and always try to reflect on my own actions... I tell myself not to do it not to do it... umpteen times... but this thought only fits in my head when I'm feeling rational...

But when I'm feeling irrational... hmm... :s

Why is this happening? Why do we do such things to our loved ones? Because we take their love for granted and assume that no matter what nonsense we do to them, they will not forsake us? But it's not very fair to them... what have they done to deserve such treatment? Maybe there is some other solution for this?

Perhaps... in such events... I should try to count to ten... and not snap... communicate the issue why I'm feeling irritated/ frustrated? Maybe sharing could be a better outlet that snapping?

Imperfectionist

Mistakes and flaws are part and parcel of everyone's lives... No one/ nothing is perfect in this world?

What happens when too many mistakes are made? A disaster?

How does a mistake occur? Misjudgement? Miscalculation? Can't be bothered to think? Or simply not intelligent enough? No.. there could be countless reasons/ excuses... it could be external factors... the weather? the traffic?

What actions to take? To salvage, to mull over it or accept it, acknowledge and move on?

I know I'm sounding illogical here... just trying to convince myself that imperfections are perfectly normal and that we should learn to accept it... not be too critical... not be too hard on myself/ anyone...

Problem is... I try to fix it... spending days and nights... thinking of a solution... sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't... sometimes I even try to fix other people's mistakes... when it's not solved, I get frustrated for wasting time on it...

Really need to learn how to be an imperfectionist... less things to think about...

Cool Indie band

I'm home... =)

Am back from a trip to Bangkok... It was a relaxing trip... with lots of shopping, numerous foot massages and a perfect manicure and pedicure... feeling refreshed...

Had dinner with my parents and my mum asked me how was my trip... I told her it was ok... just like usual... she was quiet for awhile... then she said... next time don't go for so long...

I was surprised... surely 5 days wasn't that long... I thought... But before I said anything... my dad said... ya lor... you go for 5 days, we can't sleep for 4 nights leh... to hear this from dad... is kind of weird... cause my dad is a man of few words... he rarely verbalize his emotions... so it got me thinking... what has changed from my previous trips? Me gone for a longer period? Bangkok more dangerous? My parents are more expressive in showing their love now? Or perhaps... I won't be staying with them soon and they want to spend as much time as possible with me? Hmm... nvm... anyhow... it feels heart-warming to be missed... =)

It will stop raining?

Nope, not referring to the weather...

Mum being away... not helping...
Drowning in work... very helpful...

Driving to town during weekends... not helping...
Retail therapy in town... very helpful...

All my girlfriends... definitely helpful...

I'm usually good at forgetting petty squabbles...
But somehow... some words just keep replaying in my head...

How should I describe it? Not angry, not upset, not pissed... hurt? maybe...

Maybe shaken? I know it may not seem a big deal to some... but to me... being on different pages is fatal...

Just move on? Easier said than done... really...

Perhaps a time-out is good...